hi... (yawn)
gomen, I'm still a little tired. I just woke up. I stayed up a little late last night.
I just wanted to say ohayou to anyone who's reading my blog. I still have yet to have any recent news to tell my (non-existent) readers so I'm just going to try and write a poem for your enjoyment.



My reflection shatters,
shards falling on the floor,
My fist throbs,
in the pain of trying to erase
What you made me become.
The pain offers only memories
of worse things that you've done
reminding me of rooms so dark,
you'd think there was no sun.
The tears burn
as they spill from my eyes
and I fall to my knees wishing to die,
But fate grants me no such thing
and I shudder as day gives to night
and I wonder what horrors for me you'll bring.

I cry out in ecstacy, your skin against my skin
I bite my lip as I feel you slowly sinking in
Invading my body once again
you start to thrust, gripping my hips so tightly

My face is flushed with shame
As again and again I call out your name
As your hands claw and possess me
I'm forced to admit
the pleasure I feel
That only when I'm with you
does anything seem real.

Maybe thats why it hurts so much
whenever your lips touch my neck
whenever you whisper filthy things in my ear
or when your dark chuckle slides along my skin
echoing in my mind

Because even though the scars I bear
you put there
the only pain you cause me
is the way my heart aches
with love...
everytime I see you
and knowing that you don't love me...
makes me hate you

You made me this way...
You made me love you
I'm forced to live in the consant agony
Watching you take countless others to your bed
Yet you still come back to me
why? do you enjoy torturing me?
I scream for mercy, you smirk defiling my body further
But it's not my body I beg for,
it's my heart.

Later, when sun shines through my curtains
and I awake alone, again
I stare in shock at the mirror that yesterday I had broken
Now fixed and whole, no shards upon the floor
A note stuck to it's frame
I read the perfect writing, knowing its your's.

"You should'nt break mirrors, because they never tell lies."

I look at myself in the mirror,
looking at the fresh wounds you've placed on my body
I stare at what you've carved into me,
deep, jagged lines and bruises,
scars that proclaim sweet nothings of lust
but in the mirror it's backwards, and twisted
and I can't help but smile bitterly at the irony,
knowing that what the mirror shows
Is the cold and harsh truth
This is the only kind of affection I'll get from you.
The pain and involuntary pleasure,
As once again I submit to your will
begging to be filled.

Because you've made me empty,
empty of nothing but love,
never to be returned, so I take what you give me
knowing this is as close as I'll ever get
to having you love me.....

~END~



.....Don't ask.....I don't know either.......