Hi Minna-chan!
I'm feeling better today. Anyways you'll never geuss what happened last night. Okay me and my mom go to the movies and it was'nt that bad, but only because the movie we went to see was the one I wanted to see. Anyways the movie we go to see is Dan in Real Life, (with steve carell) and there's a scene in it where they're singing "Let my Love open the door" ( really great scene by the way steve carell is a great singer.) and when the movies over and we get in the car geuss what song is playing on the radio? "Let my Love open the door"!!! It was so so cool! Then me and her went to walmart. I prefer not to go into detail about that because I don't want to start a HUGE rant on my page about how much I hate my mother. Anyways that's all the news I have right now, minna-chan. Update Later!
~Jaa mata

Angry Day

Hi minna-chan

Today was alot better then it was yesterday. My friends and me have been playing e-mail tag for the pass couple hours and it's been fun. I cleaned my room too. and I was actually feeling pretty happy but then my mom started nagging so now I'm just pissed off. But I'm handling it well considering had she done that about a year ago I'd still be yelling at her right now. But now I just monotoneuosly reply, or ignore her. *sigh* Anyways me and my friends are gonna write a story but we don't have any ideas yet. Leave an idea in a comment?, pretty please? I also might be going to see a movie tonight but I really don't want to. I don't really have much choice in the matter though. Damn it. That's it minna-chan. Maybe things will be better tomorrow. At least tomorrow I'll be seeing Hikara-chan and Akira-chan.
~Jaa mata

angsty day

Hi Minna-chan...

I've been feeling bored (empty) since friday... not sure why.... It usually happens on weekends though... that's why I changed the blog format. I like this one better. I also changed my blog title. I think I'm slightly depressed because I've really got nothing to do and no one else is home ( although I'm actually happy about that....) . I really don't care if anyone else is home I just wish I could go somewhere... I feel trapped and I want to do something but can't. Like I'm tired but can't sleep.... and there's nothing on TV to watch (there never is on weekends), I don't live near any of my friends and even if I did I can't go out without asking for "permission" first and even if I did ask my mom would still say no, because she seems to think I can't take care of myself. Damn her... Sorry if I'm boring you minna-chan but today's been a pretty sucky day and I feel like telling someone and that unfortunate person just happened to be you....(sigh) I'm really selfish, you know? I shouldn't be pitying myself just because I have no life and barely any friends, there are people with worse problems and here I am only talking about ME ME ME( but I can't help "those other people" and I don't really want to help them because I don't know them and don't even know if they deserve help... ),..... I hate myself sometimes...
Sorry for the (stupid) angst. Even though on friday I wasn't feeling that great after school ( because I knew it was going to be a lonely weekend) I felt better after I got on the computer ( I had an e-mail though I was'nt completely alone...) What's weird is that about ten minutes ago I was fine, happy even.... now I'm just..... empty and wanting..... (sigh)

~Jaa mata

Hi Minna-chan!

I joined some groups on Flickr.com. I have an account on there now! WOOT!!! XD I have 9 accounts (all on different websites) including this one. I'm an Internet Whore!!! XD I now have another blog on this site! XD "Pictures Taped on My Mirror". I'll be posting a new pic every day that describes my mood and a short caption. Hence the blog title. :] I'll also be posting some yaoi (Boy's Love) +yuri pics and random anime pics and random icons. (I am such a hentai!!! XD)
N-E-WAYZ
That's it Minna-chan!
Bai-Bai!!! ^ ^

cute uke pic ^ ^

Here's a link to my old blog if you want to check it out.

www.thelifeofaotaku.spaces.live.com

T.T

Hi minna-chan!
Gomen-nasai! I did'nt update yesterday! I could'nt find any time to get on the computer!

Bai-Bai Minna-chan!

HI Minna-chan!!!
Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! No School!!! WOOT!!!
(giggles) sorry, I'm a little hyper right now. Anyways I just decided to try and write another poem. It's the poem from yesterday only the other person's view.

When I look upon your sweet smiling face
I feel nothing but hatred, Your Existence,
nothing but a waste
As once again I walk down the hall and softly open the door.
I see you waiting, as you normally have done
I smirk and ask you if your ready for some "fun"
You say nothing, but words are never needed
I know from the times when you've desperately pleaded
begged me to touch you, in places where it's wrong
I know that's its only my touch you've felt for so long
I fondle and carress and I see the hope in your eyes
knowing that you think "maybe...Tonight.."
Maybe tonight I won't be so cruel, Maybe tonight you won't feel like a tool
Maybe you won't wake up alone,feeling used
I chuckle, we both know that's untrue
You'll wake alone, like you always do
Because I don't love you the way you want me to
I love your screams,I love it when you plead
I love your body,.... But I don't love you
As I carve more scars into your once pristine skin
I feel your tears drip off your chin
I love watching the way the hurt fills your eyes
Knowing I don't love you makes you want to die
Yes, I know of how you love me,
And as I take others to my bed, I see how your eyes fill with jealousy
As much as you try to hide, the way you feel inside
And when I come back to warm your bed
Your so much more desperate and your hunger is begging to be fed
even though your the one craving I devour and devour
And when I'm satisfied your still left empty
Wanting,
Later, when you've succumbed to the night
I watch you sleep, and in the shards on the floor
I catch sight of my reflection,
Loving, Tender
An old proverb I once heard dances in my head
"Mirrors tell no lies."
I wonder what did the mirror show you that made you break it?
You caused yourself pain, when you usually reserve that for me
I have the mirror fixed and write a quick note
And I wonder for the remainder of the day
What truth did the mirror show, You could not face?
~end~

Hmmmm..... needs revising, it's only a rough draft...

Ja ne!

hi... (yawn)
gomen, I'm still a little tired. I just woke up. I stayed up a little late last night.
I just wanted to say ohayou to anyone who's reading my blog. I still have yet to have any recent news to tell my (non-existent) readers so I'm just going to try and write a poem for your enjoyment.



My reflection shatters,
shards falling on the floor,
My fist throbs,
in the pain of trying to erase
What you made me become.
The pain offers only memories
of worse things that you've done
reminding me of rooms so dark,
you'd think there was no sun.
The tears burn
as they spill from my eyes
and I fall to my knees wishing to die,
But fate grants me no such thing
and I shudder as day gives to night
and I wonder what horrors for me you'll bring.

I cry out in ecstacy, your skin against my skin
I bite my lip as I feel you slowly sinking in
Invading my body once again
you start to thrust, gripping my hips so tightly

My face is flushed with shame
As again and again I call out your name
As your hands claw and possess me
I'm forced to admit
the pleasure I feel
That only when I'm with you
does anything seem real.

Maybe thats why it hurts so much
whenever your lips touch my neck
whenever you whisper filthy things in my ear
or when your dark chuckle slides along my skin
echoing in my mind

Because even though the scars I bear
you put there
the only pain you cause me
is the way my heart aches
with love...
everytime I see you
and knowing that you don't love me...
makes me hate you

You made me this way...
You made me love you
I'm forced to live in the consant agony
Watching you take countless others to your bed
Yet you still come back to me
why? do you enjoy torturing me?
I scream for mercy, you smirk defiling my body further
But it's not my body I beg for,
it's my heart.

Later, when sun shines through my curtains
and I awake alone, again
I stare in shock at the mirror that yesterday I had broken
Now fixed and whole, no shards upon the floor
A note stuck to it's frame
I read the perfect writing, knowing its your's.

"You should'nt break mirrors, because they never tell lies."

I look at myself in the mirror,
looking at the fresh wounds you've placed on my body
I stare at what you've carved into me,
deep, jagged lines and bruises,
scars that proclaim sweet nothings of lust
but in the mirror it's backwards, and twisted
and I can't help but smile bitterly at the irony,
knowing that what the mirror shows
Is the cold and harsh truth
This is the only kind of affection I'll get from you.
The pain and involuntary pleasure,
As once again I submit to your will
begging to be filled.

Because you've made me empty,
empty of nothing but love,
never to be returned, so I take what you give me
knowing this is as close as I'll ever get
to having you love me.....

~END~



.....Don't ask.....I don't know either.......

Konbanwa!

Konbanwa minna-chan!
I've looking at other blogger's profile's for the past hour. It's really fun! There's many people who have the same interest as me! yay! (does happy dance) Maybe someone will want to be my friend! Hope so! anyways, that's all I wanted to say minna-chan!
Dewa mata!

Hi!!!!!

About me:
I like yaoi, yuri, fanfiction, having a blog,anime, manga,artclub,my friends kuchiki and karachi-sama.
I wanted a blog because: I want to meet new people and expand my circle of friends.

Fandoms and pairings I like:

Naruto: NaruSasu, Uchihacest (Itachi/Sasuke), Orochimaru/Sasuke, Kakashi/Sasuke
Inuyasha: Kouga/Inuyasha, Sesshoumeru/Inuyasha, Inuyasha/Sango
BLEACH:Grimmjow/Ichigo, Renji/Ichigo, Hichigo/Ichigo
Yugioh: Yami Yuugi/Seto, Yami Bakura/Seto, Tomb Robber Bakura/High Priest Set, Pharoah Atemu/High Priest Set
Mokuba/Seto, Noa/Seto, Gozabaru/Seto
Sailormoon: Rei/Usagi, Minako/Usagi, Makoto/Usagi, Makato/Ami, UsagixAmi, ChibiUsaXHotaru, Michiru/Haruka

Television series and pairings I like:
CSI:Miami: Eric/Ryan, Horatio/Ryan, Horatio/Eric/Ryan threesome with Ryan as the "shared" submissive.
CSI:Crime Scene Investigation: Nick/Greg, Gil/Greg, Gil/Nick/Greg with Greg as the "shared" submissive.

that's it for now. Bai-Bai!